Interpersonal Messages: Communication and Relationship Skills

Interpersonal Messages is a brief, highly interactive book that emphasizes interpersonal communication and relationship skills, ethics, critical thinking, listening, and power in a multicultural world. In 10 chapters, Interpersonal Messages provides a comprehensive introduction to interpersonal communication that creates a foundation for the reader to understand the concepts of interpersonal communication and to develop the necessary skills to apply what they have learned through real-life examples and exercises. With a strengthened focus on skill-building, this book helps the reader understand how to master interpersonal communication and relationship skills in every area of their lives.

Part 1. Preliminaries to Interpersonal Messages

Chapter 1. Interpersonal Communication

Why Study Interpersonal Communication?

What is Interpersonal Communication?

The Elements of Interpersonal Communication

Interpersonal Competence

Principles of Interpersonal Communication

Dialogue for Analysis: The Interpersonally Challenged Family

Summary of Concepts and Skills

Vocabulary Quiz: The Language of Interpersonal Communication

Four for Discussion

Web Exploration

Featured Boxes

Self-Test: What Do You Believe about Interpersonal Communication?

Listen to This: Listening to New Ideas

Ethical Messages: The Ethics of Communicating in Cyberspace

SkillBuilding Exercises: (1)Giving Effective Feedback, (2) Content and Relationship Messages, (3) Interpersonal Principles in Practice

Chapter 2. Culture and Interpersonal Communication

Culture and Interpersonal Communication

Cultural Differences

Intercultural Communication

Dialogue for Analysis: The Intercultural Relationship

Summary of Concepts and Skills

Vocabulary Quiz

Four for Discussion

Web Exploration

Featured Boxes

Self-Test: How Ethnocentric Are You?

Listen to This: Listening without Bias

Ethical Messages: The Ethics of Cultural Practices

SkillBuilding Exercises: (1)Exploring Cultural Attitudes, (2) Identifying Cultural Differences, (3) Confronting Cultural Differences

Chapter 3. The Self in Interpersonal Communication

Self-Concept, Self-Awareness, and Self-Esteem

Self-Disclosure

Interpersonal Apprehension

Dialogue for Analysis: The Facilitation of Self-Disclosure

Summary of Concepts and Skills

Vocabulary Quiz

Four for Discussion

Web Exploration

Featured Boxes

Self-Tests: (1) How’s Your Self-Esteem? (2) How Apprehensive Are You? (3) How Apprehensive Are You in Computer-mediated Communication?

Listen to This: Listening to Empower

Ethical Messages: Outing

SkillBuilding Exercises: (1) Empowering Others, (2) Self-Disclosing Appropriately, (3) Reducing Apprehension

Chapter 4. Perception and Interpersonal Communication

The Stages of Perception  

The Processes of Perception

Increasing Your Accuracy in Interpersonal Perception

Dialogue for Analysis: The Parental Difference

Summary of Concepts and Skills

Vocabulary Quiz

Four for Discussion

Web Exploration

Featured Boxes

Self-Test: How Accurate Are You at People Perception?

Listen to This: Listening to Other Perspectives

Ethical Messages:  Censoring Messages and Interactions

SkillBuilding Exercises: (1) First Impressions, (2) Perceiving Differences, (3) Reversing Negative Perceptions

Chapter 5. Listening and Interpersonal Communication

The Importance of Listening: Task and Relationship Benefits

The Stages of Listening

Styles of Listening Effectively

Listening, Culture, and Gender

Dialogue for Analysis: The Reluctant Listeners

Summary of Concepts and Skills

Vocabulary Quiz

Four for Discussion

Web Exploration

Featured Boxes

Self-Test: How Do You Listen?

Listen to This: Listening Ethically

Ethical Messages: A Question of Choice

SkillBuilding Exercises: (1) Obstacles to Listening, (2) Paraphrasing to Ensure Understanding, (3) Listening Actively

Part 2. Interpersonal Messages in Context

Chapter 6. Verbal Messages

Principles of Verbal Messages

Confirmation and Disconfirmation

Using Verbal Messages Effectively and Critically

Dialogue for Analysis: The Uncritical Observers

Summary of Concepts and Skills

Vocabulary Quiz

Four for Discussion

Web Exploration

Featured Boxes

Self-Tests: (1)How Assertive Are Your Messages? (2) Can You Distinguish Facts from Inferences?

Listen to This: Listening to Gender Differences

Ethical Messages: Lying

SkillBuilding Exercises: (1) Practicing Assertiveness, (2) Confirming, Rejecting, and Disconfirming, (3) Thinking and Talking in E-Prime

Chapter 7. Nonverbal Messages

The Benefits of Effective Nonverbal Communication

The Functions of Nonverbal Messages

The Channels of Nonverbal Messages

Culture and Nonverbal Communication

Dialogue for Analysis: The Nonverbal Interview

Summary of Concepts and Skills

Vocabulary Quiz

Four for Discussion

Web Exploration

Featured Boxes

Self-Test: What Time Do You Have?

Listen to This: Listening Nonverbally

Ethical Messages: Interpersonal Silence

SkillBuilding Exercises: (1) Integrating Verbal and Nonverbal Messages, (2) Sitting at the Company Meeting, (3) Nonverbal Impression Formation

Chapter 8. Conversation Messages

The Process of Conversation

Effective Conversation

Emotional Conversation

Effective Emotional Conversation

Dialogue for Analysis: The Conversation of Old “Friends”

Summary of Concepts and Skills

Vocabulary Quiz

Four for Discussion

Web Exploration

Featured Boxes

Self-Test: How Satisfying Is Your Conversation?

Listen to This: Listening to Emotions (10 Easy Ways)

Ethical Messages: Keeping Secrets Secret

SkillBuilding Exercises: (1) Opening and Closing a Conversation, (2) Formulating Excuses, (3) Responding to Emotions

Chapter 9. Interpersonal Relationships

Relationship Stages

Advantages and Disadvantages of Interpersonal Relationships

Relationship Types

The Dark Side of Interpersonal Relationships

Relationship Theories

Relationships, Culture, and Technology

Dialogue for Analysis: The Telephone Breakup

Summary of Concepts and Skills

Vocabulary Quiz

Four for Discussion

Web Exploration

Featured Boxes

Self-Test: What Kind of Lover Are You?

Listen to This: Listening to Stage Talk

Ethical Messages: Q and A

SkillBuilding Exercises: (1) Talking Cherishing, (2) Using Affinity Seeking Strategies, (3) Interpersonal Relationships in Songs and Greeting Cards

Chapter 10. Interpersonal Conflict Management

What is Interpersonal Conflict?

Principles of Interpersonal Conflict

Conflict Styles Have Consequences

Conflict Resolution Stages

Conflict Management Strategies

Dialogue for Analysis: The Unproductive Interpersonal Conflict

Summary of Concepts and Skills

Vocabulary Quiz

Four for Discussion

Web Exploration

Featured Boxes

Self-Tests: (1) How Verbally Aggressive Are You? (2) How Argumentative Are You?

Listen to This: Listening to Conflict Messages

Ethical Messages: Ethical Fighting

SkillBuilding Exercises: (1) Early Conflict Resolution, (2) Generating Win-Win Solutions, (3) Responding to Confrontations

Glossary of Interpersonal Communication Concepts

Glossary of Interpersonal Communication Skills

Bibliography

Credits

Index

Specialized Table of Contents

Self-Tests

These self-assessment tests will help you analyze your own communication patterns and strategies and make plans for achieving greater interpersonal effectiveness.

1. What Do You Believe about Interpersonal Communication?
2. How Ethnocentric Are You?
3. How’s Your Self-Esteem?
4. How Apprehensive Are You?
5. How Apprehensive Are You in Computer-mediated Communication?
6. How Accurate Are You at People Perception?
7. How Do You Listen?
8. How Assertive Are Your Messages?
9. Can You Distinguish Facts from Inferences?
10. What Time Do You Have?
11. How Satisfying Is Your Conversation?
12. What Kind of Lover Are You?
13. Is Violence a Part of Your Relationship?
14. How Verbally Aggressive Are You?
15. How Argumentative Are You?

Listen to This

These discussions will help you improve your listening skills in a wide variety of specific interpersonal situations.

1. Listening to New Ideas
2. Listening without Bias
3. Listening to Empower  
4. Listening to Other Perspectives
5. Listening Ethically
6. Listening to Gender Differences
7. Listening Nonverbally
8. Listening to Emotions (Ten Easy Ways)
9. Listening to Stage Talk
10. Listening to Conflict Messages

Ethical Messages

These discussions will encourage you to consider the ethical implications of your interpersonal messages and will help you formulate your own code of the ethics of interpersonal communication.

1. The Ethics of Communicating in Cyberspace
2. The Ethics of Cultural Practices
3. Outing
4. Censoring Messages and Interactions
5. A Question of Choice
6. Lying
7. Interpersonal Silence
8. Keeping Secrets Secret
9. Q and A
10. Ethical Fighting

Dialogues for Analysis

These brief dialogues offer you the opportunity to analyze interactions focusing on the principles discussed in the text and will help you see these principles in operation. 

1. The Interpersonally Challenged Family
2. The Intercultural Relationship
3. The Facilitation of Self-Disclosure
4. The Parental Differences
5. The Reluctant Listeners
6. The Uncritical Observers
7. The Nonverbal Interview
8. The Conversation of Old “Friends”
9. The Telephone Breakup
10. The Unproductive Interpersonal Conflict

SkillBuilding Exercises

These exercises will help you work actively with interpersonal communication concepts and principles and will help you practice the many and varied interpersonal skills discussed in the text.

1. Giving Effective Feedback
2. Content and Relationship Messages
3. Interpersonal Principles in Practice
4. Exploring Cultural Attitudes
5. Identifying Cultural Differences
6. Confronting Cultural Differences
7. Empowering Others
8. Self-Disclosing Appropriately
9. Reducing Apprehension
10. First Impressions
11. Perceiving Differences
12. Reversing Negative Perceptions
13. Obstacles to Listening
14. Paraphrasing to Ensure Understanding
15. Listening Actively
16. Practicing Assertiveness
17. Confirming, Rejecting, and Disconfirming
18. Thinking and Talking in E-Prime
19. Integrating Verbal and Nonverbal Messages
20. Sitting at the Company Meeting
21. Nonverbal Impression Formation
22. Opening and Closing a Conversation
23. Formulating Excuses
24. Responding to Emotions
25. Talking Cherishing
26. Using Affinity Seeking Strategies
27. Interpersonal Relationships in Songs and Greeting Cards
28. Early Conflict Resolution
29. Generating Win-Win Solutions
30. Responding to Confrontations