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Rules of Love, The: A Personal Code for Happier, More Fulfilling Relationships, Expanded Edition

By Richard Templar

Published by FT Press

Published Date: Feb 25, 2013

Description

Love matters. Whether it's the romantic kind or the emotional bond between you and family or friends. Indeed latest research suggests that those who love and are loved are significantly more likely to be alive in 10 years time than those without love in their lives. Love makes us happy, and the happier we are, the longer it seems we tend to live. So, why is it that some people find relationships so easy? We all know the kind of person, married forever, connected with their family, and strong friendships that have stood the test of time from all stages of life. The people who make friends easily, who have someone utterly devoted to them and for whom many would do anything. What do they know and do that the rest of us could learn from? That's what you'll find in this book. If you study people who are so good at relationships you discover it's not about their personality or gender or how self sacrificing they are. Those who are great in all relationships usually do have to work at it. The secret is that they know exactly where to put their efforts. They know the Rules of Love. Now updated and expanded with 10 brand-new rules, The Rules of Love helps you benefit from the simple principles of forming and sustaining strong, enduring and ultimately, life enhancing relationships.  

Table of Contents

Introduction     xi

Part I Rules for Finding Love     2

1 Be Yourself     4

2 Get Over It Before You Get On With It     6

3 You Won’t Be Happy With a Partner Until You Can Be Happy on Your Own     8

4 You’ll Know Them When You Meet Them     10

5 Choose Someone Who Makes You Laugh     12

6 Being Less Than a Hundred Percent Attractive Is a Great Filter     14

7 Don’t Keep Making the Same Mistakes     16

8 Certain People Are Off Limits (You Know Who They Are)     18

9 You Can’t Change People     20

10 Relationships Aren’t About Sex     22

11 Get to Know Someone Through All the Seasons Before Making Any Major Decisions     24

12 Don’t Stay With Someone Who Doesn’t Care     26

13 If You Can’t Trust Them, You Haven’t Got a Relationship     28

14 Be Honest (While You Still Have the Chance)     30

15 Don’t Play Games     32

16 Don’t Paint New Partners with Old Brushes     34

17 Check You Both Have the Same Shared Goals     36

18 You Can’t Make Someone Love You     38

19 Be Cruel to Be Kind     40

Part II Relationship Rules     42

20 Be Nice     44

21 Be Together Because You Want to, Not Because You Need to     46

22 Allow Your Partner the Space to Be Themselves     48

23 Look to Your Own Faults     50

24 Be Honorable     52

25 Put Each Other First     54

26 Recognize the Signs     56

27 Be a Hero—Or a Heroine     58

28 Accept the Differences, Embrace What You Have in Common     60

29 Don’t Belittle Your Partner     62

30 You Want to Do What?     64

31 Let Not the Sun Go Down Upon Your Wrath     66

32 Be the First to Say Sorry     68

33 Let Them Have the Last Word     70

34 Houston, We Have a Problem     72

35 Don’t Put Them on a Pedestal and Expect Them to Stay There      74

36 Know When to Listen and When to Act     76

37 Never Stop Trying to be Attractive      78

38 If You Can Say Something Nice, Do     80

39 Don’t Try to Be Their Parent     82

40 Be Part of Their Life     84

41 If Little Things Annoy You, Say So—With Humor     86

42 Go That Extra Step in Trying to Please Them     88

43 Make Sure Your Partner Is Always Pleased to See You     90

44 Don’t Dump Responsibility on Your Partner     92

45 Let Them Know If You Don’t Like Their Friends     94

46 Jealousy Is Your Stuff, Not Theirs      96

47 Your Partner Is More Important Than Your Kids      98

48 Make Time for Romance     100

49 Have a Passion for Your Life Together      102

50 Share the Workload     104

51 Trust the Other One to Do the Job     106

52 Don’t Be a Nag     108

53 Make Sure Your Love Making Is Making Love      110

54 Don’t Control Them      112

55 Listen to What They’re Not Saying     114

56 Most Everyday Arguments Are About Something Else     116

57 Respect Privacy     118

58 Treat Your Partner Better Than Your Best Friend     120

59 Don’t Be Offended If They Want Some Space     122

60 Men Like Flowers Too     124

61 Keep Your Finances Separate     126

62 Contentment Is a High Aim     128

63 Be Generous to Each Other Financially      130

64 You Make a Choice Every Day     132

65 Don’t Be a Martyr     134

66 Stop Sniping—Someone Has To     136

67 You Don’t Both Have to Have the Same Rules     138

68 Do It Their Way If It Matters More to Them     140

69 Put Yourself in Their Shoes     142

70 In-laws Are Part of the Package     144

71 Keep Talking     146

Part III Rules for Parting     148

72 Listen to Your Own Internal Voice     150

73 Recognize That It Takes Two     152

74 Keep the Moral High Ground     154

75 Don’t Keep Mulling It Over     156

76 Leave the Kids Out of It     158

Part IV Family Rules     160

77 Don’t Blame Your Parents      162

78 Don’t Let Your Parents Control Your Feelings     164

79 Your Children Come Before You     166

80 Nothing Is Worth Falling Out Over     168

81 Treat Them Right, No Matter How They Treat You     170

82 There Are No Circumstances in Which It Is Ever Acceptable to Say “I Told You So”     172

83 Don’t Pressure Your Family Just Because You Can     174

84 Never Be Too Busy for Loved Ones     176

85 Your Children Need to Fall Out with You to Leave Home     178

86 They Don’t Have to Be the Same as You     180

87 There’s Always Stuff with Siblings     182

88 Let Go of Your Role     184

Part V Friendship Rules     186

89 There Are No Rules     188

90 Your Best Friend Was Once a Stranger     190

91 Only Have People in Your Life Who, on Balance,  Make It Better Not Worse     192

92 If You’re Going to Be a Friend, Be a Good Friend     194

93 Forgive     196

94 Never Give Advice*     198

95 Don’t Make Other People Uncomfortable     200

96 Find Friends Who Love the Truth     202

97 Never Lend Money Unless You’re Prepared to Write It Off     204

98 If You Don’t Like Their Partner, Tough     206

99 When One Finger Points Forward, Three Point Back     208

100 Friendships Change     210

101 Know When to Let Go     212

102 Bitterness Helps No One     214

Part VI Rules for Everyone     216

103 People Are More Important Than Things     218

104 Guilt Is a Selfish Emotion     220

105 Love Equals Time     222

106 The More You Put Out, The More You Get Back     224

107 Other People Are Where It’s At     226

Had Enough Yet…?     228

You’ll Get Older But Not Necessarily Wiser     230

Get Your Work Noticed     232

Anybody Can Be Wealthy—You Just Need to Apply Yourself     234

Get Them Emotionally Involved     236

Relax     238

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ISBN-10: 0-13-338429-2

ISBN-13: 978-0-13-338429-1

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